Christian Organizations?

We have noticed that not all Christian adoption agencies are not exactly what we would consider Christian.  It was interesting how many times workers referred to people who were called by God to an infant or to a certain child using "air quotes" and a sarcastic tone.  One actually said that a couple felt God lead them to adopt a certain child from Foster Care and she (the worker) knew more about the child and had to turn them down. That is bold, claiming you know more than God.  I understand they probably get all kinds of people with many different motives but it is insulting to discount what they felt God was speaking to them frivolously.

We were also asked the dreaded question about discipline.  "Who believes in spanking?"  Most in the room believed in it.  When asked "Why?" Our reasoning was it is biblical.  Our trainer didn't agree with spanking and said it does not work.  Went on further to say that 80% of prison inmates were spanked.  Hmmmm.  Let's see, I see that 85% of them come from homes where there wasn't a father present.  Much bigger impact I would think.  Taking into consideration of course that I am sure many inmates were not spanked for correction in a biblical manner but probably abused.  I would hope we would agree there is a difference.

Complying with the law that you cannot spank a foster child, I would not.  The workers have forewarned that if you think you can spank your biological or adopted children and not the foster child, you are in for a battle. She feels we are setting them up for animosity among siblings attributed by an uneven playing field.  Something to consider but believe many children are bright enough to comprehend.

We were surprised that classes were not open or closed in prayer, also not one scripture was ever quoted.  Someone we met who were going through our other agency said they had gone through them (located in another state) because the one they were using in their state were allowing same sex couples to adopt but still claimed to be Christian. 

The system is very broken.  It is not efficient, effective or always in the best interest of the child.  The workers are underpaid, overworked and probably have their hands tied in many circumstances.  This statement is primarily in regards to government workers.  This job is really for the churches, I don't believe the government does much successfully.  Caring for children is no exception.  No one is being ministered to by the government, that is the body of Christ's job.  When the government steps in most feel it alleviates the responsibility we are called to do "take care of orphans and widows." It's messy, unpredictable and unfair many times.  So all that said, how do you think the children are feeling?

  

Foster Care Classes and Open Adoption

Classes meet every week for three hours.  Some of our sweet friends helped us out by watching our children while we attended.  Another way others can help orphans* babysit for the children of the foster parents who are attending classes!  That was a huge blessing for us.  Not to mention my kids loved having a fun night with their kids!  

We were in class with a couple single women, and a few couples.  Some were going through adoption some fostering.  One was attending to adopt a family member.  I was not aware that if a child is taken from the home in order for a family member (grandparents, aunts, etc) they have to go through the same process.  They also have to pass all the same background checks and home study.  So one widow was there to get qualified to adopt a niece out of state.

We talked about some very sensitive and controversial subjects. When we began discussing open adoption and visits with biological family during fostering we hit on some fears.  Many felt the way I did at the beginning of our adoption journey.  "I could never do open adoption!"  Once again I was taught, never say never.  In reality God brought me to a place where I finally said, "This is and never has been about me!" This isn't even about the child!  Gasp!  This is about Jesus.  Each child that comes into our home will be shared the Gospel, and if that child wants a relationship with their mother that would enable them to share the Gospel with her, isn't that more important?  It may even be an opportunity for us to minister to that family.  But my comfort should never be the issue.  This has always been about Him.  I do not feel that I need to "complete" my family. If so, that would mean God is not sufficient.  He is.  It also sets that child you are waiting for to become an idol.  Heartache would sure ensue if that is the case.

We were told that with private adoption you are cut yourself out of consideration in about 80% of cases if you are not willing to do open adoption.  Now, open adoption could mean you send photos and updates for the first 5 years.  There would likely be a third party that would be the go-between.  This also helps the biological parents solidify that they made the right decision and not wonder forever.  Or it could mean you build a relationship with the family in some way.

In fostering, the child must do family visits if the judge dictates that as part of the plan.  That does not mean that you have to have them over to your house. There could be a visitation center for you to meet and drop off. I know it sounds uncomfortable, maybe it will be, but what did Jesus go through for our adoption into God's family?