Foster Care Classes and Open Adoption

Classes meet every week for three hours.  Some of our sweet friends helped us out by watching our children while we attended.  Another way others can help orphans* babysit for the children of the foster parents who are attending classes!  That was a huge blessing for us.  Not to mention my kids loved having a fun night with their kids!  

We were in class with a couple single women, and a few couples.  Some were going through adoption some fostering.  One was attending to adopt a family member.  I was not aware that if a child is taken from the home in order for a family member (grandparents, aunts, etc) they have to go through the same process.  They also have to pass all the same background checks and home study.  So one widow was there to get qualified to adopt a niece out of state.

We talked about some very sensitive and controversial subjects. When we began discussing open adoption and visits with biological family during fostering we hit on some fears.  Many felt the way I did at the beginning of our adoption journey.  "I could never do open adoption!"  Once again I was taught, never say never.  In reality God brought me to a place where I finally said, "This is and never has been about me!" This isn't even about the child!  Gasp!  This is about Jesus.  Each child that comes into our home will be shared the Gospel, and if that child wants a relationship with their mother that would enable them to share the Gospel with her, isn't that more important?  It may even be an opportunity for us to minister to that family.  But my comfort should never be the issue.  This has always been about Him.  I do not feel that I need to "complete" my family. If so, that would mean God is not sufficient.  He is.  It also sets that child you are waiting for to become an idol.  Heartache would sure ensue if that is the case.

We were told that with private adoption you are cut yourself out of consideration in about 80% of cases if you are not willing to do open adoption.  Now, open adoption could mean you send photos and updates for the first 5 years.  There would likely be a third party that would be the go-between.  This also helps the biological parents solidify that they made the right decision and not wonder forever.  Or it could mean you build a relationship with the family in some way.

In fostering, the child must do family visits if the judge dictates that as part of the plan.  That does not mean that you have to have them over to your house. There could be a visitation center for you to meet and drop off. I know it sounds uncomfortable, maybe it will be, but what did Jesus go through for our adoption into God's family?